Patterns

It has literally been a full year! But having a diary that I update yearly is better than not having one. What’s a year in the grand scheme of things anyway? When I’m much older, I’d be able to check back on the years of my life through these entries and that’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?

When we came back from Spain in 2024, my skin started to get really bad. The humidity in Singapore borders on oppressive, and my skin has always been a battleground.

Trying to put moisturisers on my dry skin, when the air is thick with moisture feels pointless at times, as though my skin can’t decide whether it’s too dry or too damp. The moisturisers feel heavy and thick and they just don’t penetrate.

So I collected clues. I realised that it felt better when I was out of the house, and after one incident, I soon uncovered that it was mould in my home. In my air-conditioner, on the ceiling, under the table, possibly in the books and everywhere, turning my days and nights into a battle against invisible triggers.

Dust was something I had known I was allergic to. But mould – invisible mould spores – was something I did not know how to fight.

My auntie offered me to stay over at Marina Bay Sands for a night, and I took it wanting to get away from the flat. I could instantly feel my body relax from not having to keep its defences up.

At home, we tried everything we could. I would wipe down every book and surface with vinegar and alcohol, while C tackled the ceilings with bleach—though the fumes got to him, leaving him irritable, and in his frustration, he managed to get some in his eye. Eventually, we gave in and hired professionals.

I packed up the entire house to ensure every inch could be treated. Every wall was repainted with the most expensive, highly recommended anti-mould paint we could find on the market, determined to reclaim our space from the invisible spores.

But I soon discovered that my parents’ house had an even worse mould problem. Their bathroom ceiling, once white, had turned a deep, spotty gray.

Trying to escape the paint fumes and lingering spores, I spent a night in my old room, only to end up crying in the dark from the relentless itch.

By morning, the deep lines under my eyes felt carved onto my face. I was convinced that the mould was behind my mum’s persistent stomach pains and gallstones. A new dehumidifier was bought, more expensive anti-mould paint splashed.

The mould exposure left me with side effects.

As I worked to heal, I noticed certain foods that used to be okay for me now triggered my eczema – another puzzle that needed solving. I discovered that salicylates, compounds naturally present in many healthy foods and skincare (Salicylic Acid!), had become troublesome for my sensitised system.

2024 has been a step toward rebuilding my skin. I now take a cocktail of vitamins to manage my gut health and immune system, and the dehumidifier is always running.