Vera

Clif and I recently signed up for F45’s trial. And on Friday even though I was le tired from work and it was the first day of my period.. we went for a session.

I forgot to bring my phone, but it was a 7 minute walk and we were late so it didn’t matter. Except that it meant we couldn’t just hop on the bus back home.

This wouldn’t have been so bad. If i wasn’t attacked suddenly by debilitating stomach cramps on the walk back.

I squatted at the walkway outside PLQ clutching my stomach, every time I tried to stand I just felt like keeling over.

I have a solid Asian squat but after F45, nothing is solid anymore and I couldn’t feel my jelly legs.

Every time I stood up I felt like shit because my stomach cramps and sore abs just wanted to curl my body up into a prawn ball.

A slow simple life.

What if that was enough? What if I didn’t have to feel lazy or unaccomplished, unproductive or guilty for living a beautiful, quiet, gentle life?

What if being productive was waking up to see the sunrise and cooking a meal? Could that be okay?

If money wasn’t abundant but adequate for simple living. If restaurants were too far away to go to daily anyway. Maybe that’s okay too.

Side effects:

• General shittiness
• Guilt from shittiness because am supposed to be working
• Guilt because I’m pretty sure Queen Mother went back to work the next day after her jab with no issues

Today, I feel like giving up.

We signed ourselves up for too many things. Omg.

It all started last month because we went for our biannual dental appointment at PLQ. Because we rarely wake up early on Sunday mornings, it felt like such a luxury and we decided to walk around the mall.

We ended up signing up for MANGA DRAWING at an art studio and PIANO CLASSES.

Yes. Adults with kids pay for their children’s classes but we don’t so we spend money on ourselves! Why do people think they can convince me that having kids is a good idea?

But because of our impulsive decision and our fascination with learning new things.. my schedule is completely packed. I’m my own tiger mum omg.

Tues and Thursday mornings we have bouldering PT that start at 8am. At night, we have qigong (lol wtf was I thinking)

Wednesday nights I have piano lessons. C’s are in the daytime.

Sundays we attend art class, then we eat a light lunch and walk over to Singpost to boulder with friends.

I’ve also decided to bring in the gorgeous ceramics from Thailand and we’ll be putting them up for sale on IG. Need to figure out packaging and processes for that so we’ve been running around doing things for that.

All these on top of my regular teaching, regular marketing and promotions.. and managing work at my Mum’s. 🤦🏻‍♀️

What is going on, I don’t even know why I do this.

Today after teaching 4 back to back sessions, I passed out on the chair with my brain feeling like a different entity from my body.

Dying might be painful

But death is only painful to the living.

I’ve been trying to clear my wardrobe in preparation of the big move out. Decided not to do two built ins because of my indecisiveness and inability to commit that extra space in the study so C and I only have ONE built in wardrobe between us in the master bedroom AND it’s smaller than my current wardrobe.

The plan is to buy one off the shelf if we need it – ideally we won’t – IF I am successful at whittling down my clothes. I have very little confidence that I will be able to do this but I just can’t commit to the second wardrobe until we move in and unpack. Perhaps a chest of drawers will do? Let’s see.

Eh how come it’s so hard to get rid of clothes?! I’ve even had Marie Kondo on Netflix to get myself in the mood but even after getting rid of two full bags, my wardrobe still looks pretty much the same leh.