Browsing Tag

love

Writing

I loved it then, I loved it when

Your name on my phone, your texts and calls (Tiny little jolts it gave, the beginning of my fall)

The strange old musky scent, unique to your flat (Sanitizer? Detergent? Such a weird thing to miss)

Our lazy Sunday afternoons (The time we wasted, not wasted time)

Your hand in mine in the cinema (Now cold and alone, I hold my own)

When you hold my hand tight so I won’t tickle you (You’re not holding me now, but I won’t anymore)

When you demand for my hand across the table (I refused, I rejected, I would never again)

When you kiss any part of me that’s closest to you (So simple, so sweet, I loved it then)

Our arms and legs entwined in a comfy, entangled mess (Now no longer, oh what distress)

Your fingers laced with mine (They are not mine to hold anymore)

Daily

You win

I give up. okay? You win. I don’t want to compete. I never wanted to compete about who’s happier or who’s better off. I give up on trying to be nice and trying to be friends. I don’t want to be nice. It’s hard being nice. I don’t want to be friends if it’s going to be this hard. It’s hard watching you self-destruct. It makes me feel like the person I liked died somewhere in between. I don’t want to be a part of your life anymore. Maybe then you would stop your shit and see what you’re doing to yourself.

 

Writing

A sort of disease, this lack of expression

I would live all my life in nonchalance
Because I am terrified of what you would think
If you saw me stripped of this porcelain shell
I am a prisoner to my own indifference
But breaking free would be my cancer, my hell
Stay with me; I hope you’ll stay
It is only because I am scared
Look deeper; you will find
From behind the curtain
I’m dreaming in red
Help me, dear.