The judgmental glare of the bleached screen, the mocking tip-tapping of the keyboard.
Then, a silent compliance, as the legs of discourse moves towards complete deletion.
Words, stomped out, as if they were never meant to be.
Browsing Tag
life
Much like life and love, perhaps it is because I wanted so many books that ultimately, I bought none.
I’m better at night. Because the darkness stretches on and time does not matter then.
The day, however, is bipolar. She is morning and she is afternoon.
It’s examination period! Forgive me while I lose myself under piles of paper. This month has been chaotic, to say the least – I’ll try to explain after I’m done with everything. For now, I only have this to say: It is true that it has to get worse before it all gets better. You will only get as much as you can handle, and even if you think you can’t, remember all the people who have got your back.
Just one more week until I’m back home in sunny Singapore.
I’m never too pretty, never too smart
I use my head if I can’t hear my heart
I’ve never regretted, and never looked back
I’m happy where I am, I don’t need to pack.
I use what’s not funny to battle the clowns
They share their own stories, with only a frown
Real painted smiles are best when I’m down
The tears they come easily, disguised as a yawn.
And if I feel awkward and queer to be me
‘Eccentric’, ‘peculiar’, and ‘quirky’
Just glad to be free.
First of all, I’d like you to know that everything in your life is going as planned. You’ve made some silly decisions, but you were never wrong. Everything ‘wrong’ you’ve done in your life has led you to here, to now. It’s brought you to where you are right at this moment.
Everywhere you went, you’ve seen something new. Everything you did, you experienced something new. There will be more to come, and you don’t have to worry about running out of things to do. Life is like that, nothing is ever the same. Always remember to accept change as it comes. You may not like it very much, but change keeps it interesting, and keeps you interested.
Third, happy birthday. You are an adult now. You are now able to get married, watch porn, gamble in a casino, and go to jail. That doesn’t sound too appealing, but no matter. Being twenty one will be no more different than being eighteen. Granted, time is supposed to fly by more quickly, but Einstein’s theory of relativity mentioned no such thing, so pay no heed to that. Instead, focus on the more important things in life. Age is subjective, and unimportant.
Be like a child, they have the best of everything. Remember how it is like to believe in the impossible, remember to question the world, and don’t forget to be silly once in awhile.
Sometimes when it gets really quiet inside my head, I can hear my own thoughts. It is when the words tranquil and serene are not too embarrassing to use to describe my state of mind. I feel the world around me continue its living and suddenly I am the only one that is constant. In a different timezone. A separate dimension, on the same planet.
I wonder if I am real, or if the people around me are. They are usually the ones who are suspect. They are actors put down on earth for me – and life is just an elaborate act. A Truman show.
Odd thoughts creep into my mind, everyone else are puppets and I am the only absolute. Nothing else matters but me. I feel threatened by their presence, by their talking, by their breathing.
I think about screaming, slapping, killing. Just to see their reactions. Just to see if I’m as real as them, as fake as they are.
And then I stop thinking. And just continue living.
I promise I’m not deranged.
Are you?
Happy new year.
Like an involuntary smile, this greeting writes itself on our mouths everywhere, to everyone, at the dawn of a new year.
A year. 12 months. 365 days.
Such an easy phrase, but when you think about it, it’s sounds like a lame greeting, generic and absurd.
I’m not going anywhere with this. Because, really, it’s nice to hear a cheery greeting like ‘Happy New Year’ everywhere you are. It’s easy, generic and well, it sounds happy.
So happy new year.
And for all of you people who made new year’s resolutions…after all those years of failed resolutions, isn’t it time you learnt your lesson?
2009 might not have been what I expected, but I regret nothing
Just awhile ago I was thinking about how uneventful this year was, but after re-visiting my previous post about my accomplishments at work, looking at your comments about it, and then looking at my new social experiences, I realise that it’s been a pretty cool year after all.
I’ve done everything I’ve wanted, and I’m now here, where I’m supposed to be.
And although to you it might seem childish, melodramatic and maybe slightly campy, here’s what I think this year was about, like a secret the universe whispered in my ear. (My left ear – wait, is this what schizophrenia is like?)
Everything is going as planned. You did a good job this year, keep going and know that wherever you are, you are wherever you are supposed to be and everything is working out the way it should.
Don’t think so much. 2010 awaits, and it’s going to be exciting.
For you too.
I had an epiphany this week. Or perhaps it was sudden fear when I found out from the nurse that I had gained 2kgs, with my irregular eating and late night hunger pangs.
Or maybe it was the persistent sound of my father’s nagging, grumbling at the waste of two very pretty running shoes decaying in the storeroom.
So last night, I dusted off my old, but unused Nikes and headed out the door with my iPod Touch.
Jogging at 11pm at night along the stretch of the Kallang river is definitely recommended if you’re not someone who likes jogging. Or exercising.
It is dark and no one cares if you look like you’re dying. The night breeze is cool, refreshing and makes jogging seem like a relaxing activity – for a while at least.
Now let’s just hope this lasts.