{"id":921,"date":"2022-08-31T01:09:36","date_gmt":"2022-08-30T17:09:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/?p=921"},"modified":"2022-08-31T01:19:48","modified_gmt":"2022-08-30T17:19:48","slug":"921","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/?p=921","title":{"rendered":"We die alone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Have you ever stayed in a hospital overnight before? I asked C. <em>What do you mean? <\/em>He asked incredulously. <em>Yes, when I went for my surger<\/em>y. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Oh you were there overnight? Was that your first time? <em>No. I stayed that time when my nose bled.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Were you alone? <em>My mother stayed with me.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I just had this exchange with C because I started reading a book that had a description about how time didn\u2019t exist in the hospital, much like in clockless casinos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve never slept in a hospital overnight, I told C. <em>Choy! Dai Ga Lei Si.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This reminded me of when my mother had cancer and was in the hospital for a time. I remember thinking how we\u2019re truly just alone in birth and in death. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nobody else really understands the amount or level of pain that you feel, you can really only rely on yourself to get through it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWas it scary? I imagine it to be scary.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI guess I will know what it\u2019s like in the future.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like being in the plane where they artificially dim the lights for night time and people speak in hushed tones, nurses or air stewards and stewardesses walk around doing their thing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s what I think being in the hospital at night feels like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One day I will look back and imagine what it\u2019s like to be me now. To not have to go through sleeping overnight in a hospital, feeling all alone in the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I thought I\u2019d record this here because one day when that comes I\u2019d like to remember what it\u2019s like. To not know. There was once when I did not know. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever stayed in a hospital overnight before? I asked C. What do you mean? He asked incredulously. Yes, when I went for my surgery. Oh you were there overnight? Was that your first time? No. I stayed that time when my nose bled. Were you alone? My mother stayed with me. I just [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-921","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/921","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=921"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/921\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":926,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/921\/revisions\/926"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=921"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=921"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catchmyfall.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=921"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}